No More I’s Capitalized… Just the You’s.

Okay, it still could use a LOT of editing, but here is part one. Please enjoy:

Prologue:
ONE DAY the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming the earth and going back and forth in it.”
The angels in heaven were anxious because of Satan’s presence. They had seen this happen before. Then the Lord said, “Why have you come?”
Satan answered, “In my travels, I have noticed increased frailty amongst Your people. The times are changing. You can’t deny how easily tempted this world has become -”
“Why have you come?” the Lord repeated before Satan could finish.
“Like in the days of Job, I am offering You a challenge. From my experience on the earth, I have seen how willing people are to follow me instead of You. I believe that human-kind has changed and grown beyond your handle. I have a better grip on them; I am closer to them. You sit on Your throne in Heaven and watch them from above while I am strung out across them. I believe that I am now the better influence.
“Here is what I say to You: we start an ‘experiment’. Cut-off one single person from society that doesn’t already follow You. I will send twenty of my angels, and you send twenty of yours. They will disquise themselves, and create a separate society with the individual we choose. This isolated society will be a place where our angels will be free to influence, and my angels will be victorious. Now, all will see that my way is a better way for them.” Satan finished.
“How do you suppose we find a neutral being?” The Lord replied, “Surely you are not foolish enough to think that there is some middle ground. You know that they are either with Me, or they are with you.”
Satan didn’t respond.
“It saddens me to see how hungry for power you still are,” said the Lord, “But I will accept.”
Satan turned to go, but the Lord stopped him.
“However,” The Lord’s voice boomed throughout heaven freezing Satan in mid-step, “like any experiment, a set of laws and constants must be established. No more or less than twenty will be permitted to go, and neither you or I shall attend.
“Also, the person we choose should not have any previous influence. You know as well as I that it is in their nature to sin. The results of our ‘experiment’ will be biased if the individual has prior beliefs. Therefore, we shall use a new-born. A baby will be easy to sway, and there will be no previous knowledge of you or me.
“Once the child has reached the age of 7, the experiment will end. The child will follow the one who has had the most influence on the child’s life.”
“You know that your rules mean nothing to me.” Satan said, sneering.
There was a long silence. The angels waited for the Lord’s response, knowing that, in fact, The Lord did have power over His adversary.
“Very well,” the Lord said, “you shall have the advantage.”
And Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

PART I
Chapter 1:
EMMA TENDERLY lifted her head and turned her tear-stained pillow over. That had been the fourth time since she started sobbing. She had been at this for so long now that it didn’t matter what side of the pillow she bawled into; they were both equally wet.
The occasion was rare, but when Emma did cry, she poured. She had the tough-girl persona down to an art, and she never let her guard down when people were around. The truth, however, was that she possessed a kind heart, no matter how tough her shell appeared. Despite her reputation, she was intensely compassionate. Tonight, though, she found her tough shell shattered.
She rolled over onto her other side and adjusted the blankets between her legs. They were hot, itchy and thick, but if she didn’t keep them bundled up between her knees, her back would kill her in the morning. Those are the things you just have to deal with when you’re pregnant.
More tears fell as Emma ran her hand across the surface of her elongated stomach. Now nine months along, she couldn’t remember what her old figure looked or felt like.
Why did I do it?
She asked herself questions every night.
Why wasn’t I smarter? Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?
When she needed answers most, all she could think about were questions. It was almost funny, but definately ironic.
Her fingers curled into fists on her abdomen. She hated this! Her bed was hard and lumpy, her apartment barely had enough room to accommodate a refrigerator and bathtub, and her job paid her only enough to get by. How was she going to pay for a baby on top of it all?
Worst of all, she had no help. Her dad was dead, her mom had practically disowned her, and help from the father of her baby was definately out of the question. She figured there were about ten men that she could choose from, and all would be unwilling anyway. To be honest, she would be surprised if they even remembered her anymore. She hardly regretted being with them, though. She really needed the money.
Whoever said that a baby is a “bundle of joy” probably had an abundance of money and an abundance of babysitters. For Emma, a new baby would mean starvation or vagrancy. A whole stinking bundle of it.
Well, there was always the other option: abortion. No, she had been down that road before, when she was 16. Her mom nearly killed herself when she found out, and Emma couldn’t put her through that again. The painful memory still haunted her.
Now 20 years old, Emma had found a job at a local 60’s-themed restaurant. She worked almost happily as a car-hop until her stomach started to grow. That was when her boss moved her to the back by herself to be the official “burger-flipper”. She didn’t enjoy it, but she had no choice. It was all she could do to survive.
Emma lay on her back now, staring at the cieling. She couldn’t help but wonder if anybody loved her, or if anybody really cared about her. If there was a God, her life wouldn’t be this messed up, would it? If He really did exist, she wouldn’t be struggling to survive in a world without hope. She let out one last sob, and fell asleep, convinced that she was all alone and without promise for the future.
Emma was wrong.

Chapter 2:
MORNINGS WERE always tough. After a quick shower and even quicker breakfast, Emma walked five blocks to work. She knew that pretty soon she would have to stop taking this route because of her pregnancy, but until then, she had no choice. Emma clocked in feeling a subtle sense of guilt. She was late again.
The restaurant was an old-fashioned fast-food joint that had been in business for as long as Emma could remember. That place held some of the only fond memories of her childhood, and that was the only reason she chose to look for a job there. The pay was horrible, her boss had no empathy, and the work itself was exhausting for an 9-month-pregnant woman. In fact, the work was hard for anyone for that matter. The truth was, she was too insecure to work anywhere else. She wasn’t very fond of meeting and trusting new people. Emma heaved a sigh as she put her apron on.
Emma’s boss suddenly strode into the back of the kitchen with a stern look on his face. That expression never meant anything good. He stared at her with a piercing gaze as he moved toward her.
“Emma, you know why I came back here, don’t you?” He said, glaring into her eyes.
“No,” She lied.
“You were fifteen minutes late! How on earth didn’t you notice that?” As usual, he was starting to foam at the mouth. “You can’t keep doing this.”
Emma was quiet.
“Emma, I’m going to have to do something the next time this happens…I… I might have to let you go, would you like that?”
Her head sprung up, now angry. “You can’t fire me! I have nowhere else to go! If you haven’t noticed, I’m pregnant! It takes longer for me to walk all the way here, and -”
“Then get up earlier! But right now you just need to calm down. I’m not firing you right now, idiot. But if you keep this up, I might as well. And the next time you’re late, don’t be surprised if you don’t have a job here anymore.” With that, the man stormed back to the storefront, his stride even more exaggerated than the leaps he took when he came.
Emma mumbled a long chain of curse-words under her breath. She was known for her fowl mouth, and her temper, which was far more sour. She felt red-hot anger, but toward who, she couldn’t say. If asked, she would naturally say that she was furious with her impudent boss. However, deep down, she knew that the source of her anger was extreme disappointment in herself. Sometimes, it was very hard for her to endure.
When she would get in arguments with her boss, she usually spent the rest of the day contemplating. Sometimes she made empty threats to quit. However, she knew that she couldn’t quit or get herself fired, not at this point in time. Her baby would come in a couple of months, and she needed some way to support it.
Can’t you do anything right? Her mother’s voice echoed throughout the winding chasms of her mind.
Emma sighed again and concentrated on the never-ending need for burger-flips. Tommorow she would get up thirty minutes early.

Chapter 3:
THE ONLY THINGS outside the car window were sand and cacti for miles. Emma had been driving for a long time; she wasn’t exactly sure how long. Her beat-up car was hot and stuffy, and it smelled like dirty socks, but all of that didn’t matter. She felt free and happy. It was unlike any other feeling she had ever felt before; nothing was holding her back. There was open space forever.
Then she noticed it: a road sign in the distance. She hadn’t taken one second in the midst of her happiness to think about were she was. Now, she was quite interested to learn. Her eyes followed the sign until she had come close enough to read it.
Welcome to Nevada.
Emma woke up with a jolt. Her apartment was still at the moment, but she could have sworn that a loud noise had been what woke her. As she sat in the dark, her mind spun, trying to decipher any sound or situation. She listened very closely, always expecting some kind of audible hint something was happening. Emma hated feeling scared this way; with no control in the situation. The eerie silence made time seem to double in length.
Why am I so afraid?
She talked to herself to support her failing nerve, and then kept listening nervously. When no sound came, Emma laid her head back down on the pillow. It was still wet. She tried to relax as she stared out into the darkness, uneasy. Then she heard it - crunch! Emma didn’t know for sure, but if she had to guess, someone just stepped on a pile of broken glass in her kitchen. The sound sent chills down her spine.
Emma sat straight up again, trying to decide if she was better off waiting this out or taking action. She got up and left her bedroom. She was never the “wait it out” type.
She walked slowly down the hall, keeping very quiet, eyes and ears alert. From what she could gather, someone, maybe two people were in her apartment. She could hear their heavy footsteps and feel the warm summer breeze coming through the broken window. Her heart was beating a hundred miles an hour.
As she moved, Emma kept her eyes ahead of her, where the hall emptied into her living room. The noises were getting louder with every footstep. There was no doubt in her mind that the intruders were now inside her living room, taking some of her few possessions. Somewhat feverish, Emma gathered her gumption, getting ready for whatever may follow.
“What are you doing?” she yelled, trying to sound as threatening as possible. “Get out of my house!”
The noises stopped, and Emma couldn’t restrain a grin. She loved feeling in control.
She kept on walking slowly, still listening for the any hint of the robbers. The apartment was still silent. Getting nervous, Emma’s heart started beating fast again, and she could feel the blood beating in her temples.
As she reached the end of the hall, Emma peered into the room as much as she could without revealing herself. The room seemed empty. Had they left without her hearing? Emma thought about going back to bed, but something was bothering her. She had to make sure the apartment was empty.
Slowly, after taking a deep breath, Emma leaned out into the living room to see. Bad idea. Something hard collided with Emma’s cheek right below her right eye, sending her painfully to the ground on her side. Disoriented, she tried to get a grasp on the situation, but she found herself incapable. Her head spun and nausea took hold as she held her hand to her face. When she pulled her fingers away, they were soaked with blood. Lots of it. She looked up, trying to focus on her attacker. He was a man not much taller than her, wearing a mask. He stared down at her threateningly.
“Help!” Emma screamed frantically, hoping for some sort of rescue. The robber promptly checked around him and, when he found no one, kicked Emma hard on the chin. Her teeth hit together with the most painful clack. Completely dazed, Emma kept still, trying desperately to hold onto awareness.
She could hear the crook talking with another man behind her, but the sound seemed to echo far away in her mind. As she struggled to maintain consciousness, the voices moved farther and farther away, and colors of the room started to dance around before her eyes. With panic and anger flooding what remained of her senses, Emma let go and blacked out.

^Chapter 4:
“COME IN.”
Nathan sat behind his new desk, which was positioned in the middle of the office of a new church they had finished building about a week ago. He leaned on it, running his fingers through his short blonde hair, staring at the door with his light-blue eyes. Five quick knocks meant one of three things. One, Dorris was here to explain to him that she’d just finished crocheting another stinking blanket. Two, Ernest had come to ask for instructions on how to use a flipping toilet. Or three, Chase was bringing him an important update about their plan. Hopefully, it was the latter.
“I said come in!”
Chase Smeardroy strode through the office door. Even with this new body, the man’s demeanor was as firm as ever, especially for someone trying to play the role of an eighteen-year-old. Of course, he was much older than eighteen. His rather long, brown hair waved as he went, giving him a movie-star appearance. In all truth, Chase did look like a movie star. Very attractive. He would have to be later on if they wanted the plan to work.
“Good news.” He said.
Nathan’s mind snapped back to the project. He couldn’t remember there ever being a time before when he had been so anxious. Look at him now, he was longing after every word that came from his servant’s mouth! There had only been one time before when he remembered doing such a thing, but that seemed like millennia ago. This time it was different. This time, he would win.
“Every player has found it’s position, it seems,” Chase continued, “All have settled into places where they can be most effectively used. To be quite honest, the whole plan is nearly foolproof if we play our cards right. We’ll all be the very first creatures it sees.” It was almost humorous seeing what looked like an eighteen-year old talk with what Nathan would almost call eloquence. Could he have ever found a man more worthy of Chase’s position?
“Please, go on,” Nathan said, bubbling in the leather chair behind his mahogany desk.
“As I mentioned yesterday, two of our people remain in position at a new, self-sufficient hospital. This hospital, when finished, will lie directly in the middle of town, and have all necessary equipment for delivery, of course.” Chase paused, considered his next words carefully, and continued after a long but discreet inhale. “’Kurt’, as he’s come to be called, has taken up his place in the home mortgage department. He will eventually assist the mother in purchasing a permanent home. In this way, he will be in the best spot to gain the trust of the mother, and especially, her baby. Others are working in banks, grocery stores, and best of all, schools. Teachers will be closest to the child, and every teaching job has been filled by one of our people.” Nathan shuddered with the increasing excitement. He never expected the plans to fit together so well. His situation was definitely a good one. Too good.
“And what is their plan?” Nathan asked.
Chase paused. His ruffled brow and pursed lips made Nathan uneasy. It wasn’t too often that he found a question that could stump Chase. Today, he was stumped.
“Well, they’re really not doing anything…” the boy answered.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean we still have yet to see any of them.”
Nathan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What?”
“Yeah. For all our knowledge, they have not even come down yet!”
Nathan took a moment to mull this over. Why were his enemies suddenly so slow to take action? Something strange was happening. It made Nathan’s new skin crawl.
“What does it mean?”
Chase sighed, obviously searching for an answer. Nathan had seen his servant like this before. Every so often, he would ask Chase a question that the boy seemed to have no answer to. Some questions were about humans, and the way they choose and act. Over all these years, however, his knowledge about these creatures had increased tremendously. Most of questions he asked now were about them. Regardless of how complex the issue usually was, Chase always had an answer, no matter how far-fetched. He always provided Nathan with his best shot; he was too proud not to. It was a quality Nathan highly admired in his servants: constant effort, relentlessness. They never gave up and were never unsure. Today would be no different.
Chase smoothed his shirt, and pulled his gaze away from the floor to look at Nathan.
“I don’t know,” he said.

Chapter 5:
THE SUNLIGHT coming through the broken window hammered on Emma’s eyelids. As it pulled her towards awareness, her senses went hay-wire. Her eyes ached, her head throbbed, and her mouth was filled with the bitter taste of blood. After much time laying motionless on the floor, she was able to force herself to slowly open her eyes. Pain ran hot through her face as she tried to look around. Any facial movement was agony. Emma tried to stand, but only fell back into a sitting position. Feeling dizzy and disoriented, she looked around at her apartment. The main window next to the kitchen was completely shattered, and her small T.V. set was gone.
All this for a television set?
Emma looked down beside her at the blood-stained carpet. The pool was surprisingly big, and Emma wondered if it was safe for her to walk. Next to the pool was a broken vase that she used to put fake flowers in. That had undoubtedly been what the robber hit her with. She cursed out loud. This type of accident would happen to her. Life for her could never come easily, and at times when she most wanted to leave it, she held on by a fragment. Feeling sick, Emma let her eyes wander to the kitchen clock.
Crap!
She was already five minutes late for work. Her boss made it plain that if she was late again, he would fire her. Painfully, Emma forced herself up and hurried into her bedroom, threw some clothes on, grabbed her keys, and burst out the front door.
This man has no heart…
Once she was on the sidewalk, Emma immediately bent down to quell the light-headedness that had overcome her in her apartment. Doubt started flooding her mind, but she was determined. She couldn’t lose her job. Her baby and her future depended on it. With a new sense of resolve, Emma stood up and started staggering, then walking, and eventually, jogging. Her head, and now her stomach abjected with miserable pain, but she couldn’t give up. She had five blocks to go, and she was already more than five minutes late.
Despite the hard glances and confused faces of passer-bys, Emma kept running. Her head felt like it was on fire, and it took all of her gumption not to throw-up. The morning light bothered her eyes, so she squinted, barely able to find her way through the people around her. An alarmingly big laceration was in plain sight on her cheek, and dried blood cracked from her chin up as new fluid oozed out. She knew that she must look terrible.
Once at the restaurant, Emma raced through the aluminum double-doors to the kitchen, clocked in, and found the nearest dumpster to retch in. As she stood over the dumpster, heaving, panic swept through her, as she anticipated her boss’s harsh voice.
She remembered searching for a job that last time she needed money. That was after her mother had cut her off completely. It had been so hard, and this restaurant was the only place that would take her in. If she lost this job, she would lose her one and only financial source. She would lose everything… maybe even her life.
Emma grabbed an old towel and wiped her mouth off. It seemed that no one had seen her come in the back way, and her boss was nowhere to be found. An ounce of confidence came back to her. Maybe no one knew she came in late. Sure, she clocked in late, but she could always tell her boss that she forgot to do it.
Quickly, she walked back to the skillet, turned it on, and got out some meat patties. Her boss was nowhere in sight. He was sneaky, but Emma had kept an eye out for him. Maybe everything would be okay.
“Emma,” her boss’s voice was full of accusation behind her. Or maybe things will all go to heck in a hand-basket.
Emma turned around to see her boss. He stood with crossed arms and a frown. For a moment, he was surprised by her appearance, but the old bitterness returned soon after. There were traces of anger and pity in his face; a look that Emma hated.
“Emma, I’ve had enough, and you know it.”
She said nothing. Tears came to her eyes, but she swallowed hard and tried to hold them back.
“I don’t know what’s happened to you,” he said, examining her cheek, “But I can’t afford to keep you around anymore. Sometimes you’re hours late! I’m sorry, I know you need money, and you’ve got a baby on the way, but I’ve got a business to run. I’m sure you can understand.”
Emma didn’t argue. She didn’t have enough nerve to care anymore. Her cheek was oozing, her stomach hurt, and her confidence and self-worth were crushed. In a month or less, she would have a child to care for, and now she was left with no way to pay for food or medical bills, or any other necessities for that matter. This was just her luck. This situation was the epitome of her entire existance.
Tears started filling Emma’s eyes until she could no longer hold them back. She hated it when others could see her cry. Feeling very embarrassed, Emma staggered out of the kitchen, and dropped her apron on the floor. Her tears now refused to be restrained. She felt her boss’s gaze on her, and she felt a new rush of resentment towards him.
“You have my deepest sympathy,” He said softly before the double doors could close. It was the most sincere thing she had ever hear him say, but that couldn’t change the situation.
Save it.

Chapter 6:
EMMA WALKED the familiar route to her house with her head down. Whatever humiliation she had endured on her way to work was doubled on the way back. Her tears embarrassed her. Despite her desperate efforts to stop crying, her eyes still flooded and wouldn’t cease.
The gash on Emma’s cheek started to throb. Until now, she had almost forgotten about her physical injures. The emotional ones hurt much more. Her neck and back were very sore from her fall, and spending the night on her hard floor didn’t help. Her head throbbed with the pain emanating from her cheek and her jaw. It was a wonder that she hadn’t lost any teeth. Paranoid, she checked her mouth once more just to make sure. Suddenly she stopped. The dizziness became increasingly worse, and now, she was sure that she would pass out.
I’ve got to get some help.
Standing on the brink of consciousness, one question plagued Emma: how? She couldn’t afford to pay a doctor for medical bills, and she didn’t know of anyone who would be willing to help her for free. However, she desperately needed medical care. What if her baby was injured? She had no idea what the intruders might have done while she was unconciouss, and she hated thinking about it.
After much embarrassment, Emma stumbled up the steps to her apartment to find even more terrible news. The door was wide open; she had forgotten to lock it. If it was humanly possible, her heart sank even lower into her stomach. Slowly, she stepped through the doorway and checked for intruders, this time with much more caution. She didn’t want another accident. As she looked around, though, she was overwhelmed by more dissapointments. Most all of her possessions were gone.
Unbelieving, she stumbled through her empty apartment. Over the three years that she had lived there, she had done her best to make it suitable. One of the few things she cared about was how her apartment looked. What else did she have to do? She had somewhat of a knack for interior decorating, and she didn’t waste any money doing it. She knew almost every low-cost trick in the book.
Now, Emma found her 3-years hard work in shambles. Everything was gone, and the apartment itself was torn to shreds. The wood table and chairs that she had saved for months to buy had vanished, as well as her high school art class creations that she hung on her walls. The thieves didn’t even leave any food in the refrigerator!
In her bedroom, there was only a bedframe. Emma’s mattress, sheets and blankets were gone. Her bare room looked as if no one was living there at all. Relunctantly, Emma opened her closet and found it bare as well.
Had the whole neighborhood been in on this raid?
Emma made it back to the living room before finally collapsing underneath the overwhelming grief. She didn’t care if anyone was around to see her cry now. This one day had ruined any hope she still had for a happy future. In just one day, her life had been thrown away and forgotten. Fate must hate her, and if there was a God, He did too. There was no comfort in the world that could make things better now; no one could now console her penetrating grief.
As she layed on the floor, Emma wondered if she would ever know true happiness. She wondered if circumstance would ever permit her one more ounce of hope or delight. She couldn’t even hope for it’s mercy. Would she ever have the money to raise her new baby in a nice home? Could she give it everything it ever dreamed of? Would she ever have the self-control to settle down with a man who could be a supportive father?
The answer already echoed in her mind: No.
As long as she lived, she would be the victim. She would constantly be under attack by Karma or God, or whatever was in control. Finally, she just accepted her unfrortunate role. She would never be anything more than the lowest trough of society, and would never have what it takes to prosper.
Exhausted and dejected, Emma curled up and fell asleep on the floor. Slipping into subconsciousness was such a relief. She could temporarily let go of all her problems, but like any kind of relief, she would have to face them again when she woke; if she woke.

Chapter 7:
EMMA YAWNED as she adjusted her hands on the steering wheel and put the car on cruise control. She was pouring sweat, and the hot air coming in from the windows at 65 mph didn’t really help. The air outside had to be over one hundred degrees. It would be nice if her car had air conditioning, but as always, she could only expect the worst. At least she had a car.
Something seemed oddly familiar about the stretch of highway she drove on. Emma squinted at the cracked, desert plains and plateaus that flew past, trying to decide whether she had seen them before. Endless rows of cactus and desert plants dotted the ground. The road she traveled appeared to be the only one for miles.
A quick shimmer abruptly caught Emma’s eye. Far off, the sun was reflecting off of a road-sign that looked very big. She couldn’t tell for sure, but something about this situation felt very familiar. Each passing mile seemed to bring another bit of remembrance. As she approached the road-sign, Emma racked her mind to remember. Three words rang a bell.
Welcome to Nevada
Emma’s eyes opened slowly. The full effects of her concussion had set in now, and she could barely see. Her head throbbed with pain at each heartbeat, and she felt like vomiting again. Because of her failing vision, Emma began to worry. Slowly, however, the tunnel vision receded. For what seemed like hours she lay on the floor, searching for the motivation to get up.
That stupid dream again!
She had shrugged it off the first time, but now something about it bothered her. Emma never had dreams, ever, yet this one was so vivid that at times she wondered if she really was dreaming. Stubbornly, Emma ignored this vision as well. She had never believed in anything “super-natural”, and hated religious fanatics that prayed and worshipped and hunted ghosts. She didn’t plan on starting now. There was, however, something very strange about the dream and the feeling Emma had afterward. Even though the thoughts remained in the back of her mind, Emma did her best to forget about the reoccurring dream. Without warning, she lurched forward and threw up on her already dirty floor.
I’ve got to find a doctor.
Emma let the thought sink in. She was in obvious need of medical care, but she had to face the facts: she couldn’t afford it without insurance. She might if her mom would lend her some money, but that wouldn’t happen. The situation had become desperate, but Emma didn’t know if she was so desperate as to ask her mother for money.
Finally, she decided she couldn’t. She didn’t get along with her mother at all anymore, and this was definitely not the time to kiss and make up. I love you too, mom. By the way, can I have a few thousand dollars? Emma felt too melancholy to laugh at the ridiculous thought. Besides, Emma’s mom, Mellanie, was unstable. After Emma’s abortion when she was sixteen, Mellanie attempted to commit suicide. It was a very difficult time. She still took medication to combat the depression, and Emma knew that she didn’t like taking it. Sometimes she wouldn’t take it at all. That lady was hanging by a fine piece of thread. And no matter how hard she tried, Emma would never forget the rainy evening when she almost lost her mother.

“I can’t believe it…” Mellanie said. Emma had never heard her mother speak with this much disappointment before.
“Mom, I -”
“Don’t you say another word. I’m so sick of you right now I could puke.” Emma felt tears come to her eyes as she looked out the van window. There was a long pause as they drove through the old part of town, where Emma’s school was. It was raining hard.
“I thought I raised you better than this…” Emma couldn’t stand to listen to her mom’s cracking voice.
I deserve it, I guess.
Two weeks ago, Emma started to become nervous. The telltale signs of pregnancy began to show, and the worst part was that she knew there was a very good chance. She had done something really stupid; she had slept with an upperclassmen who had probably forgotten about her by now. If the pain and humiliation from that whole ordeal wasn’t enough, Emma had become pregnant. At that point, she was desperate. She didn’t consider herself the smartest person in her school, but she had the sense to know that she definitely wasn’t ready for a baby.
Emma told her closest friends at school about her problem; they were her only outlet and her last resort. After looking all over for a solution on her own, they had given her one. That day, she had come home with a capsule full of pills designed specifically to “get rid of her problem”. She would be baby-free in one week, and the lifeless fetus would make it’s way out in due time.
Emma had almost finished with the final day’s dose when her mom found them. Mellanie was completely crushed when she came to pick Emma up from school that day, and the conclusion to their argument then would leave a hollow dent in Emma’s heart for the rest of her life.
Suddenly, Mellanie swerved to the shoulder and stopped. Struck with horror, Emma watched her mom open the car door and step out into the rain. Then the realization came: she had parked on a bridge.
In a flash, Emma was out of the car, her tears falling like the rain around her. This couldn’t possible be happening. Emma’s worst nightmare had sprung to life. As her adrenaline started pumping, time began to blur. Emma saw with disbelief as her mother fled in front of her. From that moment on, Emma would never be the same. After seeing her mother so desperately pursue death, Emma’s heart hardened immediately. Her mother longed for a terrible escape, and Emma had been the cause.
“Mom!” Emma shrieked as she started to sprint. Mellanie was now running to the edge of the bridge, her daughter right behind her. Emma’s heart pounded as she tried desperately to catch her mother. The unthinkable was about to happen.
Mellanie reached the edge and hoisted herself onto the concrete platform made to keep out-of-control cars from falling onto the train tracks below. She was now inches from the drop-off, and showed no visible inclination of backing down. This was it; the moment of disaster. Mellanie, as if in a trance, started to step off the ledge.
Suddenly, Emma jumped up and wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist. In one motion, she jerked Mellanie’s body from off the ledge, and they both fell hard on the wet road. Amazed at her own bravery, Emma found herself profoundly relieved that her mother had not fallen to her death. Although her knees were badly scraped and bleeding, Emma, thinking quick, jumped up to make sure her mom wouldn’t make another attempt to jump. She soon realized that wasn’t going to happen.
Mellanie had landed on her back, and the impact had knocked the air out of her. Her eyes were closed, and she wasn’t moving. To Emma’s horror, There was a trickle of blood starting to to form a pool under her hair. What had she done? Emma started to panic.
“Call an abulance!” she screamed in pure desperation. Whatever hope Emma had gained by stopping her mother from jumping was lost on the sight of Mellanie’s blood. Looking at her mother again, Emma wondered if she had just caused the atrocity that she tried to prevent: Mellanie’s death. She was sobbing loudly when a man in a blue jacket ran up to her.
“Are you okay?” the man asked, putting an arm around Emma in an attempt to warm her. She pulled away and looked at him gravely. She wasn’t comfortable touching anyone, much less a total stranger, not even in exchange for comfort. The man looked hurt.
“Don’t worry, I called the police, and they said that they would send an ambulance. Your mom will be fine… Please don’t cry.” His voice comforted Emma. His words were so gentle and genuine.
“How did you know -” she began.
“I saw the whole thing.” He said, “That was a very brave thing you did. I usually take walks over this bridge and I saw you and your mother…” There was an akward silence after the man could no longer continue. Emma hated silence.
“Thank you,” was all she could muster. He gave her a meek smile.
“What’s your name?” She asked in an attempt to take her mind off of the situation. The man seemed surprised by her question.
“Gabe,” he said with a smile on his face. There was a warmth about him that permeated the cold rain drops to reach Emma and comfort her. How great a man that came to soothe and save her in her most desperate time! She felt extremely grateful; so very grateful that she almost forgot about the trouble she was in. She could, even if only for a few seconds, let go of the never-ceasing turmoil that characterized her life. Somehow, this kind stranger made her feel all better. She couldn’t explain the warmness she received only from being in his presence.
“Isn’t Gabe short for ‘Gabriel’? Like the angel?” She said, almost infatuated. Looking back on this, she felt disgusted by the way she let herself become so enthralled.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” He smiled again, warming her soul.
Emma looked back at her mother. She almost looked peaceful lying on the concrete, if it wasn’t for the accumulating blood below her head. The rain had finally stopped, and Emma could hear the sounds of sirens approaching. For the first time, she believed the man’s words. Everything would be alright. She turned back to where Gabe had been standing, but now he was gone. He had disappeared with the rain. Surprised, Emma looked around everywhere for him, but only in vain. He had vanished.
When the paramedics arrived, they loaded Mellanie up on a stretcher and drove both mother and daughter to the local hospital. After an hour or so, the doctors told Emma that her mom suffered a concussion and a fractured vertibrae, but the injuries would heal relatively quick without any long-term problems. She had done the right thing. They also perscribed her to anti-depressants to prevent the same scenario from playing out again. Although gratified by her act of bravery, the horrible incident would never cease to trouble her as long as she lived.
Emma knew that she would never be the same toward her mother, but she still felt a sense of gratitude. She, along with a total stranger, had been heroes! Emma never found out if her mom was thankful for her rescue, and never gathered the courage to ask. However, she felt proud of it nonetheless, and although the mysterious man had helped Emma save her mother’s life, she never saw him again.

^Chapter 8:
NATHAN COULDN’T HELP BUT GRIN as his servants started funneling into his newly constructed church. They entered through the large wooden double-doors, which were intricately carved with pictures of wings and angel faces. They passed the rows of dark-purple, ultra-padded pews, the colorful floral arrangements at the end of each one, and they cleared the balcony, which also held an abundance of pews that Nathan knew he would never need. The emptiness created room for growth, and even while he knew growth would never come, he also kept in mind that it was the concept of growth that was welcoming. Not the reality.
This place, like the rest of his plan, was perfect. Every detail had been considered on such a extreme level. All chances of failure had been eliminated. Victory was inevitable. Nathan could feel the power in his gut. The day that the world would see glory had finally arrived. They didn’t stand a chance.
The crowd had finally settled into the first few pews, and Nathan motioned to Chase in the back to close the doors behind his congregation. It was time. He breathed a heavy breath, trying to calm his trembling nerves. Had he ever been so excited? After Chase had closed the doors and found his seat behind the crowd, Nathan started.
“Welcome,” he said, “to our first meeting here on the surface! Believe me, my children; I share your feelings of excitement! Soon the hearts of all humanity will be ours and their creator will bow before us!”
Cheers resounded in unison.
“Moving on, now. Chase, please do a quick count of those attending. We don’t want any unfaithful.”
Without changing his expression, the boy scanned the crowd with his eyes. “All are present.”
“Very well,” Nathan cleared his throat, brimming with anticipation. “I will start off by saying congratulations! After much consideration, I have hand picked every one of you for this task. I know that all of you, as well as your kind that still dwell below, are aware of and familiar with the Game and the Plan. I can assure you that everything concerning the Plan is better than I had hoped.”
“Here are the updates: First of all, as of today, every building project has been successfully completed. Excellent work, my children!”
There was a loud roar of clapping that reverberated throughout the nearly empty cathedral. Catcalls and whistles chimed in signs of celebration. They seemed more excited about the end of their labors than about their inevitable control of power. It was like them, Nathan thought. They couldn’t think even two seconds into the future.
“The second bit of news, I’m afraid, is slightly less exciting.” He knew the comment would hush the congregation. It did.
“As many of you have clearly witnessed,” he continued, “our enemies have not made even the slightest appearance. Even I do not know the reason for their absence thus far, but I’m sure it can only mean trouble for our alliance.” Many nodded in anxious agreement. “If they continue to delay, I don’t see any possible means by which they can complete preparations for the town. While at face value, our situation looks very beneficial for us, we must remember that our enemies don’t operate at face value.”
That was an understatement. If anything in that book they worship was true, it was the part about how they “work in mysterious ways.”
“All of you also know that we are currently breaking the rules by my presence in this town. Our Enemy made it clear that I should not attend. I’m sure it was no surprise to Him that I turned out anyway. It makes me wonder now, though. He has always been one to follow the rules, but now the boundaries have been broken, will he abide?”
Nathan paused, letting the question set in. They needed to understand fully for his plan to thrive. He looked at their eager expressions now, took a deep breath, and smiled. Like always, his confidence and reasoning seemed to energize his followers. The man or woman underneath every thoughtful face was under his power. Soon, he would look the same way upon the earth, viewing millions of faces in loyal submission to him. And one day, the heavens will bow as well.
“Despite these distractions, I assure you all; our alliance has taken the lead in this race of –“
The church suddenly shook as loud booms thundered through the sky above them. Nathan jumped, but quickly grabbed hold of himself, stiffening to appear strong, as a real leader should be. The cloudless thunder continued to roar in his ears. One after another after another the ground shook and the heavens cracked. Nathan stared down into the wide eyes of his people, and they frantically returned his glances. They knew that sound well.
Then, as quickly as the booming came, it stopped. Peace settled on the small community as if it had never been disturbed. But it had been. If Nathan wasn’t mistaken, he’d counted close to twenty booms.
Out of the quiet, Chase stirred. He got up from his pew, walked hastily back to the front doors and peeked out through a sliver into the night. After only a quick second, he closed the door carefully, and spun around on his heel to face the others, his expression finally showing some concern.
“What did you see?” Nathan commanded, a lump rising in his throat.
The boy’s words only confirmed what the whole congregation already assumed.
“They’re here.”

Chapter 9:
AFTER MUCH THOUGHT while sitting, aching, on her living room floor, Emma finally made the decision to find a doctor. That was assuming that she could make it to the hospital. Right now, the task seemed nearly impossible, but she decided she would have to try. She was sure that in the end, her own body would heal fine, but she had to know that her baby would be healthy also. Honestly, what other option did she have? Her condition only grew worse with time, and above all, she couldn’t let anything happen to an un-born baby. A perfect and innocent child.
Emma stepped out of the apartment again, this time feeling much worse. Every step required a conscious effort; every breath contained a frantic and fleeting relief. When she didn’t have something to lean up against, she could barely manage to stand. And there she was, on her way to the hospital on foot. Many grown men couldn’t match her intensity and determination at the moment.
Her small city didn’t have taxis, and busses didn’t stop anywhere near her apartment. She had learned that when searching for a job. She couldn’t afford a car. The only method of travel available to Emma was her own two feet. She was forced to walk everywhere. On days like this one, it was very inconvenient. Though however rough most of her days were, she hadn’t before experienced one quite this horrible.
As Emma stumbled along, she was almost oblivious to the concerned people around her. She did not to hear when they offered her help. Some people even offered a ride, but she didn’t pay attention. She was focused on one thing only: getting to the hospital without collapsing. Her mission was set in her mind; a dark tunnel of consciousness that led her through this rocky road to her objective. The hospital.
Even though her senses were dull and foggy, Emma could still somehow think clearly. Scenes and scenarios of what might happen at the hospital played themselves out in her brain. If anything kept her from making this trip, it would be her doubts. Would the hospital reject her if she couldn’t afford to pay the doctors?
Surely not.
Eventually, though, she would have to pay them back. God forbid doctors helping people in need without proper pay. Admittedly, their jobs were rough at times, but surely they could manage if she wasn’t able to pay them. She had never been this desperate. Couldn’t someone give her a break? Stupid doctors these days had no empathy.
What am I thinking? Doctors need to get paid, too. They’re just doing their jobs.
Emma wondered how much her treatment would cost. She guessed it close to five hundred dollars for her own injuries, and a whole lot more to find out about her baby. The situation was hopeless. She would spend years trying to pay off this debt. Assuming she could find a job after this.
After this. Was there anything after this? Emma felt so helpless at the moment that she couldn’t think beyond this situation. Half of her couldn’t help but think that this day could be her last.
The more Emma pushed on, the worse she felt. She noticed her cheek was still bleeding. The thick, hot liquid spilling onto her face was translated to panic, which, like the blood, never seemed to stop pouring. She had lost a lot of blood. Her hearing, as it did when she had first been hit, became distant, and her vision was hot and fuzzy. Despite her condition, she pressed on down the long sidewalk, finally rounding a corner and coming up on the hospital. The sight of the wide building was an extreme relief to her tired being.
Just a few more steps…
As soon as Emma had entered the doors to the E.R., a nurse hurried to her side. She took a quick glance at Emma’s injuries and put Emma’s arm around her neck. The nurse supported her in place for a bit and let her catch her breath. The pause was wonderful. After a while of silence that would have been awkward in any other circumstance, the nurse asked her, “Can you walk?”
Emma almost laughed.
The nurse led her to a room close by and closed the door after Emma was seated on the bed. Hurrying back to Emma’s bedside, the nurse readied her pencil upon the papers attached to her clip-board.
“What is your name?” the woman asked in a kind, but serious tone. Rushed, without a trace of the panic that filled her patient.
“Emma.”
“Okay, Emma, you are bleeding badly and your pupils are dilated, which means that you have a concussion. It is important that you stay awake, do you understand?”
“Yeah,” Emma managed, her head throbbing. She would give anything to fall asleep again, and now that the nurse mentioned that option, staying awake was even harder. In fact, now that she had even heard the word, her hospital bed became a cloud of comfort. She wished that she could just fall into it fully and drift away in it’s luxury. Sleep.
“When did this happen?” the nurse asked.
Emma blinked back to the edge awareness. “Really late…” she sighed, “Well, no. I guess really early this morning.” Abruptly the nurse hurried over to the counter and grabbed a small cloth.
“So have you had any sleep since the incident?”
“Yeah…” Emma said guiltily. There was that wonderful word again. Sleep.
“Alright. Emma, I’m going to try and stop the bleeding by putting pressure on your wound. Please try to relax, but stay with me. Remember not to let yourself fall asleep. This might hurt a bit.”
Sleep.
Suddenly Emma snapped, fully awake and aware now. “A bit” was definately an understatement. As the nurse pushed on her cheek, a deep pain that made Emma’s nose ache replaced the sharp, open pain she had learned to cope with since the accident. It found her completely unprepared. A sudden hotness came over her as she stared blankly into the nurse’s eyes. Soon after, her vision turned cloudy, and Emma found herself struggling once again for conscioussness. Sleep. It was a battle she never won. A relief came over Emma and she fell into a deep slumber.

EMMA HAD been driving for what seemed like forever. Although she had felt very tense before, she calmed down once she reached the desert. She had started to get very hot, also.
Without result, Emma tried one more time to get the air-conditioner working. As before, she shrugged and gave up, wiping a chunk of sweat-soaked hair out of her face. The heat was familiar. As she peered out the car windows at the barren scenery, she realized that she recognized them from some distant dream. Suddenly a burst of recollection came flooding back to her.
I’m stuck in this stupid dream again!
Half-annoyed, half-interested, Emma drove on. Now, for whatever reason, she was in control. What happened in her dream now was up to her, and she could feel it.
What does this mean? She knew what event had to come next.
Patiently, she waited until she could see the sign in the distance. In an attempt to prove to herself that she wouldn’t acknowledge the significance of the dream, she chuckled and watched the sign in. Her heart was really racing. When she saw the new words on the sign, however, she gasped.
Go to Nevada.

Chapter 10:
EMMA FOUND HERSELF swimming in a world confusion. Words and thoughts drifted to her from the darkness around her.
After finally opening her eyes, Emma’s world began to slowly swirl back into place. Her senses seemed to spring to new life. Every sensation was almost painfully unbearable. After the first wave of disorientation faded, she could make out a woman’s voice beside her bed. Talking. Babbling almost, with an apathetic tone. Emma couldn’t tell who the person was talking to, but the woman stopped abruptly as she seemed to realize that Emma was awake.
“Doctor, she’s waking up.” The woman said into the phone receiver next to the bed.
Groggily, Emma blinked and tried to get a grasp of the situation. Where was she? Where was her apartment? In complete desperation, Emma stared up at the woman beside her white bed, who smiled softly at her. White, everything white! What was happening? She was so confused and scared that she wanted to cry out. Then, like a flood, recollections of her trouble came rushing back. A half-ton burden on wheels.
“Am I okay?” she asked out loud in a worried voice, oblivious to how very foolish she sounded.
“The doctor will be in very quickly to tell you everything. Please try to stay still, and don’t go back to sleep.” the nurse replied calmly. Just the two of them were in a small room together. It was a different room than the one she remembered falling asleep in. This one was much fancier, having a small television and a bathroom in the corner. The nurse wasn’t the same one from before, either. Her hair was darker, and she smiled a lot more.
Emma looked down at herself. Her old blood-stained clothes were gone, and she wore a green hospital gown now. Protruding from her arm was an I-V, pumping a strange liquid into her. Despite these things, her bed was soft underneath her tired body, and the pillows and blankets were fit for a celebrity. If it wasn’t for an immense headache, she would probably feel quite comfortable.
The door opened and a middle-aged woman made her way through the doorway, acknowledging the nurse by Emma’s soft bed. She was an intelligent-looking oriental lady with long, black hair and a pair of thin glasses. She gave Emma a warm, genuine smile and sat down on a stool next to her bed. A moment of silence followed, and Emma admired the woman’s confidence. Her eyes sparkled with a comforting gaze and something about her humble countenance seemed familiar.
“Hello, Emma.” she said cheerfully. Emma didn’t respond. “My name is Dr. Collins. I’ve been the one treating you. Depending on the patient, your injuries can be very serious, so I’m going to ask that you try to be still.”
“Okay,” Emma said. Truthfully, she felt much better than she had before the doctor arrived.
Dr. Collins leaned over the bed and looked at Emma’s eyes.
“Good,” she said, turning to the nurse and talking a softer tone. “Any problems when the patient woke up?”
“None,” the nurse replied.
“Okay, thank you. Now, there’s a patient in room eleven that I need you to cover. Thank you so much.” The nurse obediently nodded and walked out the door. Dr. Collins turned back to Emma now, her pencil ready for action in her fingers.
“Okay, Emma. Just as a precaution, I’m going to ask you a few questions about yourself. I need to make sure that you aren’t experiencing any memory loss. Do you understand?” Her clipboard sat ready on her lap.
“Um…yeah.” The notion made Emma’s stomach churn.
“Can you tell me your age?”
“Nineteen.”
“Where do you live?”
“In a crappy apartment over on Huckle Avenue.”
The doctor chuckled. “That should be enough. If you experience any problems recalling things after this, please let me know right away. How are you feeling today?”
“Not bad,” Emma said with a grin, “Much better than yesterday!”
Smiling, the woman looked down at her clip-board. “That’s good, but I have to tell you that you probably didn’t feel anything yesterday. You’ve been asleep for three days, in somewhat of a coma.”
Emma felt her jaw drop. Dr. Collins suppressed the urge to laugh. Obviously, the doctor found humor in almost everything. She was either an optimist or a maniac. Judging by the woman’s selfless demeanor, Emma was pretty sure it was the former. Regaining her composure, the doctor said, “Emma, this is very serious. You lost a lot of blood, and suffered a severe concussion. Can you tell me what happened?”
Emma told the woman of the robbers and the vase and her job. The doctor looked more distraught with every word, seemingly soaking up her words with genuine empathy.
“Okay.” Collins said, taking notes. “Well, you have been doing very, very good for someone with your condition. I was surprised, actually. No offense! I was always pulling for you, “ she smiled briefly and continued on, ‘We have given you some blood to replace the blood you lost, and your body accepted it wonderfully. I stitched your cheek, also. However, I want to ask you to stay another night in the hospital just in case anything goes wrong.
“Unfortunately, we can’t give you a whole lot of pain relief. You might have to deal with the pain without the use of perscriptions or any kind of drugs. The heavy pain-relievers are not healthy for a pregnant woman to use -”
“How is my baby?” Emma interrupted. She felt stupid for not thinking of asking the question earlier.
The doctor grinned even wider this time. Bringing good news to others seemed to give her ultimate contentment. “As far as we can tell, she is totally unharmed.”
“She?” Emma replied. A swell of excitement filled her.
“Yes,” said Dr. Collins, “You are carrying a baby girl.”

Chapter 11:

ALMOST AN HOUR LATER, Dr. Collins was finally done running tests on Emma. According to the doctor, she was doing exceptionally well for someone who had sustained her injuries. She explained that most people with a severe concussion who fall asleep would go into a coma or suffer from shock or siezures.
“Emma, you don’t know how lucky you are,” Dr. Collins said once they were finished, “There must be someone looking out for you!”
Yeah, right.
She appreciated the care of her doctor, but she just couldn’t believe that a “divine someone” had her best interests at heart. Not after what her life had been like.
“I don’t know about that…” Emma hated to openly object to the doctor’s opinions, especially after she had been so nice. The doctor didn’t seem to mind, though.
“Well, Emma, someday I hope you get the chance to find out.” The woman offered one last smile and disappeared behind the door to Emma’s room.
Emma spent the rest of her day watching the small television positioned in the top corner of her room. Her head still hurt badly, but she didn’t feel sick or dizzy anymore. Slowly, she ran her fingers across her cut cheek and felt a row of stitches. She was thankful that the laceration didn’t trouble her now, but cuts were not what hurt her most. The worst part was the bruising. Emma’s neck and face had swelled and become very stiff. It required much effort just to tilt her head, and any sort of facial expression was painful also. Nonetheless, Emma was pleased. She would be fine, but most importantly, her baby girl would be healthy.
The people at the hospital were very friendly. Dr. Collins had such a caring personality that Emma couldn’t not like her. The same could be said about the rest of the hospital staff. For the first time in years, Emma thought that she had finally found people that cared about her. They laughed and talked with each other. Some of them had even come in to have lunch with Emma. She had known them for only a day, and yet she had become freinds with most all of them, especially Dr. Collins.
Emma was starting to feel drowsy when the doctor entered the room for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. After a while, Emma realized that the doctor wasn’t really concerned with her health anymore. She just wanted to visit. A lot. The idea that another person considered Emma valuable enough to stop by for no reason at all made her feel alive. Had she ever felt this way before? This visit, the doctor wore a much bigger grin than usual, and walked with a happy bounce in her step. At Emma’s bedside, she stopped, making an obvious effort to restrain herself from telling her news prematurely.
“Still feeling okay?” she asked, brimming with enthusiasm.
“Yeah,” Emma replied, trying not to laugh. The doctor had asked her the same question fifteen minutes ago.
“Good!” she quickly pretended to scribble some notes on her clipboard and then looked back up at Emma, “You’re going to love this!”
“What?” She had been expecting that kind of enthusiasm.
“We finally got a hold of your mother!”
Emma’s stomach tightened. This was something that she really hadn’t expected. She sat right up and stared at Dr. Collins in disbelief and shock. Her confused and almost angry expression made the doctor’s countenance fall to concern
“What did you tell her?” Emma said, feeling very uneasy. Dr. Collins looked confused and hurt at first, but realization spread over her form as her eyes settled on Emma’s abdomen.
“We have her on the line now,” Collins said gently, “Would you be willing to talk to her? I hardly told her anything. I thought that you might have wanted to.” There was silence.
“She’s your mom. I think that she deserves to know.”
There was a lump in Emma’s throat. Emma agreed. Mellanie was her mom, but did she deserve to know about the baby? After what Emma had been through, did Mellanie deserve anything good?
She hadn’t talked to her mother in over a year. Not since she ran away, leaving her old, tortured life behind. Not since she dropped out of school her senior year. Not since the fight.
Emma had come home that day after her last day of high school to find Mellanie on the back porch crying. For two hours they argued there. They yelled about Emma’s future and Mellanie’s failure to be an adequate parent. Emma had said everything that she had ever wanted to say to the woman who, as far as she was concerned, was formerly her mother. By the time they were done, both mother and daughter created a deep hate for each other.
Afterward, Emma had marched upstairs, packed her bags full of clothes and necessities and left in the car her mom had bought her. Mellanie let her go. Both of them could not believe what was happening, but neither had the will to stop it. They would be miserable because of their actions later; it was the cost of pride.
This telephone line, however, was Emma’s new opportunity to mend their torn relationship. The effects could be disasterous, or miraculous, but Emma never really believed in such things as miracles. Disasters, however, she was very well acquainted with.
I can’t do this! She hates me!
Emma’s doubts outnumbered her confidences. The doctor waited patiently for an answer, and Emma’s mind reeled.
“Emma.” The doctor’s voice was soft. “I don’t know what your situation is, but I hope that you can see that this is your mother. A mother’s love for her child lasts through any mistake a child can make. You might be surprised that you find help.”
The doctor knew how to speak right to Emma’s soul. If there was such a thing. At this point in time, when she had no job, apartment, or way to pay the hospital, anything was worth a try. And it just might turn out all right this time.
“Please put her through,” Emma said, picking up her bed-side phone.

Chapter 12:
EMMA TREMBLED with the receiver jammed to the side of her face. With all the self-control she could muster, she tried in vain to calm herself. She couldn’t let her mother hear weakness in her voice.
“Emma?” Mellanie’s familiar voice sounded old and worried. Emma froze. Was that concern or loathing in her voice? Maybe disbelief. Although Emma hadn’t heard it in nearly 3 years, the sound of her mother’s voice had never left her.
“Emma…” her mother seemed speechless. “Are you okay?” If she didn’t know better, Emma would have thought that her mom was crying. But she did know better. Mellanie was usually too over-dramatic for her own good. Emma never thought to consider that her mother actually did care, because most of the time, it was just an act.
“I’m fine,” she said. Her voice wavered, and she cursed herself for letting her mother hear.
This sudden confrontation had left Emma close to speechless. That didn’t normally happen. She didn’t know what else to say. Better to let Mellanie do the talking, anyway.
“They said that you’re in the hospital… What did you do?” Maybe she really was crying.
“Well…” Emma tried her best to put it nicely. “Some robbers broke into my apartment the other night. They, well… attacked me. My cheek was cut pretty bad and I had a concussion. I’m fine now.” Emma could picture Mellanie reacting to every word she said with a look of fake surprise. Her mother had never let her real personality show through the phony mask she wore. All Emma knew about her mother was artificial.
There was a long silence. For a moment, Emma thought that her mother had hung up. Now, she honestly couldn’t tell if Mellanie was still acting. Emma waited for any sign of honesty.
“I’m glad that you’re okay.” She means it. The words hit Emma like bullets. Her insides twisted into knots and pushed tears to her eyes. She had wanted so much to hear those words for so long that nothing else seemed to matter right now. After the initial shock, a smile spread across Emma’s face as she tried not to sob into the phone. Neither of them spoke for a very long time.
“Emma, if you need any help paying for the hospital bills, I can handle it. It… it’s the least I can do.” Emma’s heart skipped another beat at hearing her mother’s sudden offer. Now she could pay off the hospital. She wouldn’t have to spend so many hard years in debt. “How much do you need?”
Crap.
Although Emma was glad to hear that her mom would pay for the bill, she knew that the total would shock her. She breathed out hard.
“About thirty-five hundred.” She heard a gasp from the other end of the line, and her stomach clenched. The moment she had dreaded was moving in fast.
“Emma, that’s a lot of money. Are you sure you’re okay?” No answer. “Wait, you’re not trying to take advantage of me, are you?” Mellanie said, her voice full of disbelief. This was it. Emma steadied herself mentally and took another big exhale.
“They had to make sure that my baby is okay, mom. I…” It took all of her gumption to go on. “I’m nine months pregnant.”
There was no reply. For an eternity, Emma sat on her bed with the phone pressed to her ear. The only hint that Mellanie was still on the phone was her heavy, uneven breathing into the other reciever. Eventually, Emma grew tired of waiting.
“Mom?” she said impatiently.
“Well,” her voice had changed. This was Mellanie; the person that Emma used to call “mother”. “I guess that between the child’s father and you, the bill can be taken care of. You won’t need my help.” Her voice was cold as ice, and Emma had heard it a million times. Every time was harder hit to her confidence..
“Mom, I don’t know who the father is,” she said, immediately regretting it, “And I have no money.”
Stop, Emma! You’ll only hurt yourself again!
“Don’t you have a job?”
“I did-”
“I can’t believe you, Emma! You haven’t changed at all since you left!” she said, almost whining, “You’ll always be the same rotten brat that I had to put up with for eighteen years!”
Emma was dumbfounded and wounded. She had never heard her mother talk that way about her. Some comments before had come close, but her mother sounded as if she wished Emma had never existed. Deep down, it stirred up a hot anger ready to defend her hurt feelings.
“I wouldn’t even think about my money now if I were you,” Mellanie continued, almost hysterical, “You’re not my problem anymore! I hope that you rot in that hospital!”
Emma was now furious as she cried into the phone.
“Mom, you’re the one who raised me. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! Do you really think that the examples you set were ones that encouraged me? If I’m anyone’s problem, I’m yours!”
“I raised you as best as I could!”
“How can you honestly say that?” Emma’s yelling filled the small room as she bawled. “Every night you were off at a different bar, while I found myself food to eat! Every week there was a different man at our house, and some of them even beat me! Did you know that, mom? You were a terrible mother!”
There was a moment’s silence.
“Stop it,” Mellanie whimpered. Emma wasn’t done yet. She knew her mother’s usual theatrics. They wouldn’t stop her this time.
“Shut up! You weren’t just a terrible mother, but a terrible person! Everyone I knew hated you. Do you think that was easy on me? Eventually I had to hate you too!”
“Stop it!” Sounds of heavy sobs were broken up by Mellanie’s howls for obstruction. More drama. The scene was straight out of a soap-opera, and it disgusted Emma.
“You wonder why dad did what he did? It was all because of you. It was your fault, but you said that it was mine! How could you do that to your own daughter? You’re a monster, and dad agreed with me! He told me so! And eventually, He got so sick of you that he killed himself! Don’t you realize that you disturb everything around-“
Suddenly, to Emma’s horror, a single gunshot report thundered through her receiver.

Chapter 13:
THE PHONE RECIEVER banged against the tile floor hard. Emma didn’t notice at all. Paralyzed on her bed, Emma tried to manage the chaos in her mind. Thoughts and reasons were rushing through it at top speed. Although her heart was grieving intensely, her mind wouldn’t conform. She started shaking.
My mother just killed herself.
With a quick movement, Emma jumped out of her bed and dressed in her old clothes. She found them cleaned, hanging on a hook next to the door. Now crying hysterically, Emma started to realize that she had finally lost everything: her money, her family, and her hope. She only had her baby left, and that seemed like more of a burden than a blessing. Anything good she still had left had just vanished with one gunshot. Gone without goodbye. And now Emma would leave the same way. Frustration and remorse filled her to the brim.
I just made my mother kill herself!
She checked the room one last time to make sure that she had everything, and then faced the white door. The air was thick with mystery and grief as she stood, terrified. What was she doing? Questions rushed her like demons, swimming around her mind, and demanding total authority. Things had wound out of control with Emma caught up in the deadly spiral. She took a rugged breath in and opened the door. It creaked to reveal Dr. Collins, who wore a very concerned look on her face.
“Emma-” the doctor started, but she moved past her and started running. While the thought of leaving this wonderful woman behind was full of fear, Emma willed her legs to go on. She had no choice but to go on. “Emma, come back!” Dr. Collins sounded hurt as she shouted. Emma really hated to do this to someone she had grown so fond of, but she couldn’t stay in the hospital now. More tears leaked out of Emma’s eyes for the doctor who had been so kind, but she quickly wiped them away. She burst through the front doors and kept running. Screaming. The mixed emotions that willed her in opposing ways tugged her into frenzy. Emma was out of control, but she could only concentrate on putting the screeching images of her dying mother aside. She ran far throughout the city buildings; farther than she had ever run before. The shame and heartache was too much for her to stay, so Emma ran as far away from her old life as possible. Which was a long way.
After running for half an hour, Emma finally stopped to catch her breath. Immediately she doubled over in a nearby alley and wretched. She really wasn’t used to this kind of exercise, and definitely notwhile carrying around an unborn baby. She straightened up and caught her breath, looking around for something to remember. She couldn’t find a thing. Perfect. There was no one around to see her cry, so she did just that.
Now Emma shuffled along the nearly-empty streets, sobbing heavily into her shirt. It had just turned dark and she had no clue where she was. The problem with her situation had finally hit her, and she felt like an idiot for giving up the safety of the hospital. There was no way that she could find her way home now, with hardly any light. Finally, she wouldn’t go back anyway. The hospital knew her address. Eventually, they would come looking for money, and she wouldn’t have it. And even if she could come up with the money, how could she live with herself now that she had murdered her own mother? The thought wrung her of any happiness she could ever feel again. There was no joy that could overcome her newfound sorrow.
Emma felt her baby kick and move within her belly. There was another problem. Without help from the hospital, how was she supposed to deliver a baby? She couldn’t even consider the idea of delivering on her own. It was ludicrous! Hopelessness just seemed to pile higher onto her conscience, and Emma suddenly felt a new rage boil up. She wanted to just hit it. Hit her belly until it was black and blue. She could get rid of that problem right now.
Do it. You’ll feel better.
The stray thought surprised Emma, and she suddenly felt ashamed for ever feeling such a hate. What had this innocent thing ever done to her? To be honest, it had done everything. This baby was why Emma was in her situation. Her misery originated there.
But could Emma forsake the one thing that truly depended on her? She had forsaken everyone else who had cared for her.
No, she thought, I’m going to be a much better mother for my girl than my mom was for me.
But her mom was gone now. The fact that she still hated her own mother despite having pushed her to commit suicide made Emma’s skin crawl. For the first time in her life, she felt scared that she might have lost all compassion she had ever possessed. Something inside of her had changed. Something had taken the place of her hope and love. Something evil. She had screwed up big this time.
I’ll never do anything right. I’m useless.
Suddenly, Emma’s whole life seemed a meaningless waste. She had messed up so many times that she had run out of options. She was fated to live life as a screw-up; a kind of half-life. Emma just wanted it all to end; for all of the memories and tendencies she struggled against to be gone. What role did she fill in this hellish society besides the poor victim that only knew how to dig herself deeper in? She had been destined to be nobody. It was a role she would gladly give up to leave it all behind.
The all-too-familiar depression flooded over, but unlike any other time, a deadly resolve accompanied it. Now was a good time. There had never been a better time to give up than now. Emma lifted her gaze away from the tear-stained shoes that carried her, and took in the city. And stopped crying. The apartment complexes towered around and behind her, housing the poor souls that weren’t as lucky as Emma to be able to give up. The street stretched out in beside her. Tomorrow it would carry countless who were too busy to see how cruel life was. And in front of her, as if some kind of sign, was the bridge. The same bridge she stood trembling on three years ago while the rain poured down around her.
Perfect timing.
She had once saved a life here. Now it was time to end one. End two. The bridge itself screamed for her to walk along its sidewalks and view the collection of unfortunate persons it has assisted in their own quests for escape. It shouted at her to follow their example.
Emma’s eyes widened with excitement. She was so close! The tears and sorrow were things of the past. She could never feel those things again. She would never feel anything again. Relief and joy like fire consumed her as she moved along the familiar shoulder of the street. She looked around. The bridge was deserted. There was no traffic; no one would be around to see her fall.
She eventually found the spot. It was a cement platform that had once looked so menacing. Now, it invited her. She wanted to thank it. To embrace it. Without hesitating, Emma climbed up onto the platform and looked over the edge of the bridge. Far below her, a set of railroad tracks ran beside a very old train station. The drop would surely kill her. Awesome. It was so far down. The perfect distance, Emma thought.
As she stood there, Emma let her mind glide over all of her past memories, letting them be displayed to her in quick sequence. Could she count any happy memories? No, of course not. Emma smiled. All the more reason to jump.
Emma lifted her foot and dangled it off the edge. The freefall would be a wonderful feeling to experience before she finally hit. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep. She was ready, but her mind suddenly snapped back to a question she hadn’t quite expected to come.
What will happen to me once I die?
She chuckled. It was a stupid question. If there was a heaven, she had no business there. No life on Earth could be as pathetic as her own. As for Hell, it would be nothing compared to the hell that she lived in now. She would take fire and torture over this depression and hopelessness any day. Emma figured that she might as well look forward to it. Anything was better than the here and now.
With that, Emma spread her arms out wide, closed her eyes, and leaned forward.
Soon I will be done.

Chapter 14:
GO TO NEVADA.
Emma took a step forward and caught herself. Although she had seen these words before on a sign, she had never heard them spoken audibly to her before. The eerie words came from a man’s voice, or was it a woman’s? Emma wasn’t quite sure.. Her mind reeled. She couldn’t decide if what she just heard was real or not. Regardless, the words had come to her somehow.
She turned around and scanned the length of the street. It was still empty. There was no man or woman that could have said the three mysterious words. Even if there had been, why would they repeat a phrase that only had meaning in Emma’s dreams?
I’m hearing things. I’m going crazy.
If her situation wasn’t bad enough the first time she wanted to jump, things just seemed to get worse. All the stress and trauma she had experienced in the past 24 hours had finally snapped her mind. She was on the verge of insanity; she could almost feel it. Her reality was slipping. Inch by inch, faster and faster. Soon, she knew, she would lose control.
I need to jump. I need to jump now.
Desperation swept her, and the thought that she might regain her sanity before she got a chance to jump terrified her. She had to be in control. Once again, Emma closed her eyes and spread her arms. Nothing would stop her this time.
“Emma!”
She opened her eyes. Emma knew that voice. There was something about it that grabbed her attention and pulled her focus away from the task at hand.
Don’t listen. Just jump.
Emma started shaking. Where did this burning desire for death come from?
“Emma! Stop!”
Emma had listened, trembling with indecision, as Dr. Collins ran to the ledge where she stood. She glanced at the doctor, and saw the most desperate terror in her expression. There were tears in her eyes, and her make-up was running. Suddenly, Emma couldn’t take her eyes off the woman. Why had she come? Now Emma had brought someone else into her life of grief. She would jump, and the doctor would break.
“Emma, please. Get down from there,” the doctor whimpered. Her voice cracked, and Emma winced at the thought of the doctor’s pain. She held up a hand, beckoning for Emma to abandon the ledge.
Do it now. Jump
“I’m sorry,” Emma cried, “I can’t. I just can’t go back.”
“Please! This isn’t the way! Things aren’t as bad as you think!”
“What do you know?” she was screaming now. “There’s no reason for me anymore! I have nothing to fall back on! I’ve run out of options.”
“There’s always a reason to live, Emma.” Dr. Collins’ voice had changed. Now it was soft and controlled, trying to soothe. “I see it everyday. I’m a doctor, remember? Of all people, I should know how important life is. I have a job trying to save lives! Please, I worked hard to save yours, Emma. It was well worth saving. I found a new friend! Please don’t throw it away now.” Fresh tears rolled down Dr. Collins’ eyes as she tried to hold back a sob. She was trying to be so strong. Trying so hard for Emma. Caring so much for Emma. The doctor’s words cut her like a knife. Emma felt a deep tug to reconsider.
Jump.
“You don’t understand! I have no money, no insurance, no home anymore… and now no family… I have nothing!” She knew her words were ripping the doctor apart, but she continued anyway. “How can I possibly hope to survive, especially while nursing a baby? I can’t! What will I do when I need to deliver her? I can’t go back to the hospital! The bill is already huge, and–”
“I paid your bill,” Collins said gently, and then was quiet. The silence filled the air around them, like fog, and Emma was sure that she must have started hearing things again.
She’s lying. Just jump. Now.
Emma’s head spun as she tried to distinguish between the two opposing sides. One side told her that there was no hope left. Her only success she could ever gain would be to gain control of the current situation and end her life. She couldn’t believe that side. The other one, though, told her that someone had cared enough for her to pay the debt she owed, and she definitely wasn’t ready to believe that someone genuinely cared. The conflict raged in her mind, sending her to a sobbing heap on the concrete ledge. Emma stared into the woman’s face, inspecting her complexion for any sign of deception. There was none. How could Emma ever believe that she would lie?
“Why?” she finally managed through the sobs.
“Because you needed it,” the doctor said, choking, “and because I think you’re a good person. You just need another chance.”
“I’ve had enough chances. What makes you think I won’t blow this one?”
“You’re my friend. I have faith in you.”
Every word that escaped the woman’s mouth seemed to soak down into Emma’s soul. She knew now that she shouldn’t jump. She shouldn’t, but she would. There was just no other way to fix everything she had screwed up. She covered her face and cried. So thankful and ashamed, she couldn’t face the friend who was trying bailed her out. And her situation was still so hopeless.
Emma suddenly felt the gentle touch of Dr. Collins reach around her shoulders and draw her close, as a friend would. As much as Emma appreciated it, a hug couldn’t change her dillema.
“It still doesn’t matter!” Emma wailed through her hands, “I still don’t have a job or an apartment. There are so many things that just can’t be fixed!”
“I know,” said the doctor, comforting her, “but I’m going to help as much as I can.”
Emma cried harder. This woman’s unexpected generosity was beyond anything she had ever experienced. Unfortunately, it was just too late. Emma looked up at the woman in her work clothes and took a glance at the doctor’s nametag.
Dr. Sera C. Collins
“Sera,” she said, “Thank you so much… but I just can’t. I’m so sorry…” Emma could barely talk through the tears. “Please just… leave.”
Ashamed, Emma covered her eyes with her hands again. She couldn’t stand to see the disappointment in the doctor’s face.
You’re doing the right thing.
“Okay,” the woman said softly. Emma had never heard someone so torn. “But I hope you open your present before you make your decision.”
Emma felt the woman place something on the cement by her stomach, and there was silence. Her present? The comment had caught Emma so off guard, she didn’t know what to say, or even to feel. Dr. Collins had bought her a present?
“What?” Emma whimpered in her fingers. There was no answer, and it seemed as if the silence from before had returned to usher her to her doom. Emma opened her eyes and looked around. Dr. Collins was gone, and for the second time, Emma was suddenly left alone on the cold concrete bridge.
Emma sat up on the ledge in bewilderment. The only thing on the length of the whole bridge was an old car parked in front of her on the road. There was no sign of the pretty Asian woman who had held her close a minute before. She closed her eyes and reconsidered the doctor’s words.
“I hope that you open your present…”
Emma’s eyes sprung open and she immediately looked down at the small box positioned beside her. She let her fingers run over its surface and explore its texture as she pulled the flaps open. Inside she found a set of car keys, a very thick stack of one hundred dollar bills, and a map. She examined each of the objects before letting her jaw drop. The car keys were old, and looked very much like they could belong to the car sitting in front of her. In fact, she was sure that when she had stepped up onto the ledge a few minutes before, the car had not been there. And after attempting to count the bills in the money stack, Emma figured that the doctor must have given her every last cent of what she had. There was too much for Emma to finish counting at the moment. The strangest, though, was the map. When she opened it, she found a route drawn in pen from her small Californian city to the middle of Nevada.
Although the day had been a roller-coaster ride, full of complete chaos, and although Emma had grown almost numb, accustomed to shock, she wouldn’t hold back the surprise she felt now. She climbed down off of the platform and stared at the ground, trying to find some fragment of understanding in the new situation. As her mind worked to make a decision, her heart knew exacly what she would do.
Quickly, Emma turned and grabbed the three items from the ledge and hurried over to the old car. As she had suspected, her keys fit into the door. After looking once more for the doctor, she ducked into the small Oldsmobile and soon found herself driving along the road out of town.

***

Emma tried to settle down as she took out the map and checked her location. So many weird and wicked things had happened in such little time. Emma wondered if she was really dreaming. A woman, out of nowhere, had given Emma a new sliver of hope that she had never imagined would come. It was amazing, no miraculous. But Emma wasn’t really ready to believe in miracles yet.
That didn’t change how horrendous the day had been, though. She still sweat hard, wondering and worrying what would happen to her now. Would this road turn out to bring blessings, or would she be faced with the same old curses?
Emma was trying hard to settle down. The hot, humid summer nights didn’t help at all. It gave her a headache and made her feel quite sick. Clumsily, Emma reached down to turn the car air conditioner on.
It wouldn’t work.